Menopause and Botox Etiquette

Article by
Aisling Grimley.

I’d like to discuss a recent phenomenon with you. Recently I’ve met friends for dinner or coffee. We’re all in great form, delighted to see each other. One of the gals is looking particularly well – the compliments are flying. You look fantastic! A million dollars! She looks well-rested, fresh, youthful, great skin… The session progresses, conversation is great and gritty. Then by degrees it dawns on me that one of them, the one looking particularly fab on arrival, may have had botox.

You may know what I'm talking about...It’s distracting to say the least. You try to listen and look, discreetly and think back. Did she always have a smooth forehead? Wasn’t there a line between her eyebrows? You're sure last time you met she had more crows feet. What about the laughter lines? You're scanning her face -comparing and contrasting with the others at the table. She’s coming up trumps. In fact the others could do with filling in some of those ridges, you think! You feel disloyal and a bit distant from your fab friend. Maybe it’s her new exercise regime and more sleep, less stress.

During these sessions we talk about most things and we have discussed botox before. I know she’s up for it. She knows I’m not. That’s all agreed and fine. But where do we go here and now? I like to be straight, keep things real, but it could be a mood killer, a nonsequeter. Do I gently introduce the subject of botox, throw in a slag? I feel it would be deeply personal, and she may think I’m being critical or judgemental. She may not want to jump in here and now with that conversation. Plus we’ve been lashing out the compliments, would we have to take them back?

What to do? I’m tempted to rush home, texting the others at the table as I travel? Did they notice anything?  No, that doesn’t feel right at all.

Maybe the issues are all mine? My friend may be botoxed, looking fab, enjoying the compliments, shining and smiling. Meanwhile, I’m contorted…getting a few more worry lines: thinking why not age gracefully? Is society putting us under pressure to be looking fab and young? Is the botox industry taking advantage of our insecurities? Moreover are we becoming hard and unaccepting of ourselves? Also do you have to keep topping the botox up? Could there be long term consequences to injecting those chemicals into ourselves? In the long-term if the skin is let loose, will it just slump?

As we hit the age of menopause, I’m expecting a few more of these situations to arise. I’m wondering what is the correct code of conduct. What is botox etiquette? If you’ve had botox would you like your friends to discuss it or would you rather they just gushed the compliments and left you in peace?

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