Body confidence

What is it about Menopause, or its approach, that somehow diminishes our sense of Presence? The above quote is from a new book recently published by Amy Cuddy[ii].  Presence refers to paying attention in the moment, an enhanced self awareness. When talking with women entering their Second Spring I notice an easy agreement that we are regarded as invisible, that sometimes we fold in on ourselves to be smaller, more accepted. In a recent study children identified the figures with limbs astride, arms and legs wide apart, taking up lots of space as boys, and the figures that held themselves neatly as girls. Perhaps this suggests we believe ourselves to be more acceptable if we take up less space? Many of us are parents, or will have held responsible jobs, or significant roles in our communities. Yet still the onslaught of midlife hormone induced emotional turmoil can seriously affect our confidence and sense of self.

I'm delighted to tell you there is hope. The answer is practical, quick to do, it requires a little bit of time and courage, but no equipment, no other people, no cost and it's fun!

Too good to be true?

The 'power pose' developed by Amy Cuddy can transform how we feel about ourselves and how others feel about us. Let me explain - one of the reasons you might feel better after a workout, a run or Pilates, is that you have changed how you hold your body through exercise.

How we hold our body has an impact on our mind, the neural pathways stimulated by lifting our chest just a fraction can give us confidence.  If we are fearful powerlessness can creep into us affecting what we believe, think, and feel.

The changes we encounter in menopause can stimulate a fearful response. If we are not informed, the changes are often unpredictable, it is disconcerting, our sense of who we are and our sense of being in control are challenged. These changes can even alienate us from ourselves. What we know is that everyone has an individual response to menopause. In fact that is true of most things, invariably one size does not fit all. My Second Spring is informative and will, over time, reduce the fear of the unknown in menopause.  As you feel more in control so your body might need a nudge to improve your confidence. 

Your second spring is great because maturity and experience bring the opportunity to believe and trust in yourself, your true feelings, values and abilities. This is important because if we trust ourselves then others can trust us. It is a chance to find peace with being who we are.

Many studies suggest that non verbal behaviour can signal something more powerful than words. Self-assurance, poise, enthusiasm and confidence, all project a presence that demands that we take notice. Likewise when we hold back, perhaps through fear, we stimulate the sympathetic nervous system, commonly known as the Stress response. It is not a permanent state of being. Stressful situations that make us feel powerless and distracted can be improved by feeling present. When we feel present our speech, facial expressions, postures and movements align. We are being ourselves.

Cuddy describes it as internal convergence, harmony. Palpable and resonant, it makes us compelling. It comes about with incremental change. We can induce a sense of presence by allowing the body to lead the mind.

If you want to try it, take yourself somewhere private, stand with your legs apart,  and raise your arms to make an X. Hold this power  pose for a while, up to 2 minutes if you like. As you stand in the power pose your brain is receiving a message that you are confident! Repeat this as often as you wish and gradually your brain will believe your body. It's amazing! It works. I have seen the evidence that this works, as has Amy Cuddy. Have a go, let me know how you get on, I'd love to hear from you.

Presence comes from believing and trusting your story – your feelings, beliefs, values, and abilities.

Mags Clark-Smith - helping us to make changes

Mags Clark-Smith is a movement specialist trained to treat Neurophysiologic Disorders. Mags lectured in Dance and Psychology and is passionate about empowering women to move with confidence and fulfill their potential.

She runs a busy Pilates Studio and Resolving Chronic Pain programme.

You are very welcome to contact her:

Email: magsmcs@gmail.com

Telephone:  086 104 0955

References

 Amy Cuddy 2012 TED Talk