Women went home on Friday night inspired to enjoy sex more
by
Aisling Grimley.
We had another night of inspiration at Meet the Experts with My Second Spring, Emily Power Smith ignited the room and encouraged us to accept and enjoy our bodies.
Reignite the spark - fireworks anyone?
We talked about sex.
Emily Power Smith has a Masters in Sexology. And it shows. There was little left uncovered on Friday night at the Merrion when she spoke to a roomful of Second Springers about upping the ante in the bedroom: in terms of self love, body-safe sex toys, sex positive attitudes and fantasy. We covered it all from vaginas and G spots to inner clitorii (who knew?). She honed in on some menopause-specific issues, explaining how the drop in both testosterone and oestrogen can have a dramatic effect on levels of desire and physical enjoyment. She then provided us with plenty of solutions.
Emily is frank, fearless and feminist as we heard from her talk for My Second Spring. She is also compassionate and down to earth and on a mission to help women reconnect with their bodies, reclaim their sexuality and remember what makes them feel great. For every sexual problem, there is a solution, if you want it, in Emily’s book – and her playbook is vast…
Here's a brief summary of some of my take home messages from Friday night.
Emily once again suggested that we all concentrate in the first instance on the golden trio of:
- Masturbate - It's key to first of all become more and more comfortable with our own bodies and to know what pleases us. Start with self-love!
- Lubricate - Over the counter lubricants are often sugar based and can feed fungal or bacteria in the vagina so go for more natural products such as Sliquid, Yes!, Good Clean Love or just good old Extra Virgin Coconut OIl.
- Communicate - Discuss your preferences but don't bring up the subject during sex but rather do that at a different time.
Apparently a recent survey showed that 83% of women were not happy with their bodies. Emily urged us to concentrate on the bits of our bodies that we like and keep adding on more parts to that picture rather than being critical and negative. As she says being sexy is as much about the way you walk and talk as your actual physical 'assets'. Be naked with yourself and look in the mirror. Sleeping naked is also a good idea.
Emily brought a great supply of toys for us to look at and she emphasised the importance of toys that use body-safe materials. Nothing cheap and nasty for us women. I must say the idea of toys was very alien to me when Emily first mentioned them on this blog. I wasn't sure when or why I would want to use toys. Having been at the talks and done some research I'm ready for toys!
Sex siopa were on hand to sell us lubricants and toys and they did some great business at the back of the room.
Many thanks to all of you who came along on Friday night and especially to Emily Power Smith who is so passionate about people enjoying sex at all ages whether you're gay, straight, single or in a long-term relationship. We salute her depth of knowledge and understanding of the subject of sex and our attitudes to our bodies and our sexuality. It is a huge gift to be given a new lease of sex-life, I have had tremenduous feedback from participants at both talks with Emily Power Smith. See testimonials below.
As always the staff at The Merrion Hotel were charming and helpful and had the room looking wonderful. It's a great start to any event to be in such gracious and elegant surroundings.
The 5-star Merrion Hotel, luxury in the city centre.
We are very grateful to the Buff Day Spa for their fabulous raffle prize of a Dermologica facial as well as the mini-facial provided to all attendees. We are also very grateful to ALFAPARF for providing all who attended with their top quality hair products. Many thanks to Sex Siopa for their bag of goodies worth €65 for the raffle.. The winner of the Lelo vibe, prize at the May's talk, says her sex life has been transformed by the vibe she won!
What some of our guests had to say about Emily's fabulous talk.
Here’s the upshot from some very happy guests:
“I felt like Emily was a fly on the wall in our bedroom – she completely gets the issues we’re all facing, the lack of time, the loss of desire or drop in libido, the “another thing on the checklist, somewhere below laundry” – especially in long term relationships. But after all her recommendations tonight, I’m ready for a reboot, and see what happens” Janice
“After tonight I have hope again. I’m 46, my periods just stopped six months ago, but already I’m finding my sex life affected by menopause – I love my partner, we have a great relationship, but penetrative sex is really painful – and that’s very upsetting, quite depressing. Emily’s advice was really encouraging – that with the right approach, it's not lost forever rather you can have better sex than before – although it might be different. I also got lots of really useful advice and suggestions fro useful products from the other women here who have had similar problems.” Breda
“I thought the event was great – I can see all women - in a relationship or single - getting something out of this. There was lots of talk about valuing yourself – I thought that was really important. We don’t talk about that part enough”. Pauline
“I thought it was great. I’m not yet at menopause and I have a good sex life, but it looks like with some of Emily’s tips and some of the toys she recommended, it could just keep getting better. She touched on some very powerful issues to do with body image and boundaries. I think the message is: be comfortable and appreciative of your body and enjoy what it can do, instead of worrying what society – or anyone else – expects of you.. It was quite empowering, really made me think. “ Juliette
“I’m one of those women who’d rather have chocolates and a good film than sex – I am not that bothered, I can take it or leave it, especially now that it is becoming uncomfortable. But I’m kind of inspired to try a few new things now – and the products she recommends could be great.” Elizabeth
“I was at Emily’s last talk in the spring and she suggested starting to go to bed naked and see how it feels. I did exactly that and I love it – it really works!” Katie
“I am not in a relationship at the moment but I though the talk was great, still very relevant. I had no idea what I was coming to – I thought Mojo was something entirely different – but I’m really glad I found out!“ Mary
“Some of the toys SexSiopa was showing - and Emily was recommending - look really great – a million miles away from the scary joke vibrators that you'd find at a hen party. The new toys are sleek, discreet, and tasteful and I can’t wait to try them. I was really impressed with how Emily took us on a tour of toys, what to avoid, how to tell bodysafe products, what toys work well for beginners – like me! – And how to use them for your partner and yourself.” Anne
“I loved the sex toys part of the talk – these are real women friendly toys, they look elegant and they seem to be designed specifically for a gentler approach. I also was taken by what Emily said about men generally can take a firmer/rougher touch, and women general need a more restrained touch when it comes to foreplay.” Sue
"Hi Aisling just wanted to congratulate you on what you are doing. Really enjoyed my first visit to a My Second Spring event and looking forward to many others. It was lovely to meet you last Friday. Best wishes" Olivia
